The Aurora Review

Winter/Spring 2005


This Is Your Home
by Abeer Hoque


Slow heat, 107°F...

This isn’t the summer of my childhood. Muri isn’t my constant companion. I can’t skip all the afternoon teas and dinner parties and shopping trips to play outside or swim in the pond. My grandfather doesn’t come back from his morning walk with hot and spicy daal puris for breakfast. He is not walking with me through my grandmother’s garden, tearing off banana leaves and folding them intricately, precisely into pretend watches with bands and everything, his bent curly head mirroring my own. Nana has been dead for seven years, but it is only now that I feel it, now that I’m here in his house again, walking through the jongol garden, crooked banana leaf watch on my wrist. My only context for him is fading from my already faded memory.
 

But Nanu is here, and she has always been the centre of my Bangladesh experience. Her shuffling walk, her wrinkled hands, the way she croons, Nanu, Nanu as she hugs me, harder, longer than I expect. My tiny grandmother is a force, a woman of reckoning. One of the first Bangladeshi women to graduate from college and go on to get a Masters degree, she has spent her life in pursuit of miracles, not the least of which is the education of village girls. Nanu traipses from village to village, walks through the grey concrete classrooms with their empty windows and brackish chairs and desks, talks to headmasters, teachers, and parents to finds the girls who have escaped infanticide and child-bridehood. She has spent decades fighting to keep our dark-chocolate-cream-skinned, bony, lithe, huge-eyed daughters in school.


This place, it is your home, my father told me before I left, in our only exchange of substance since our last fight. I hear his voice as I watch wordlessly through the rickshaw curtains at this fiercely alive and pungent city breathing its last, its first with every gasping breath – past the water stained buildings, the broken down roads, the paradises of green fields. You have roots here, his voice echoes. The rickshawallah’s stringy calves pump and pulse under his skin, his eyes bright in his tired face, old enough to be my grandfather. 

continued

Lagoon Sunset by Ione Citrin

                      Lagoon with Sunset by Ione Citrin


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